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Dilettante

by Mo Troper

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1.
[instrumental]
2.
What’s the name of your new band? The one with you and my old friends? I can’t lie, it’s not half bad The expendables ride again How you doing on new songs? You wanna borrow my catalog? Actually, shit—just have this one The expendables ride again It wasn’t me It was you I was asleep But I came to I woke up A bitter pill In a clown car En route to the loser’s circle I can’t make it to your show Next time, for sure; just let me know And you can show me how you did that thing The expendables ride again It wasn’t me It was you I was asleep But I came to I woke up Lost in space A Big Star Swatting those pesky satellites away What’s the name of your new band? The one with you and my old friends? I can’t lie, I’m a fan The expendables ride again The expendables ride again
3.
American Dad 02:02
I’m fungus among the trees Crows feet like cracked ceiling beams To hold the bullshit in my head My regrets are merely old friends I’d do anything To feel normal again All my best ideas are burnt ends At the boring side of heaven I’d do anything To feel normal again Again they tend to beg Until there’s nothing more You count the space between your breaths And you can’t find the door I’d do anything To feel normal again
4.
You wrote the perfect song It gets stuck in my head all day long You wrote the perfect song The perfect song And it sounds Just like how A kiss tastes Makes me want To sing along ’Til I’m blue in the face Whoo And when I Feel like my Heart might break I put it on And the tears All evaporate You wrote the perfect song It gets stuck in my head all day long You wrote the perfect song The perfect song You wrote the perfect song It gets stuck in my head all day long You wrote the perfect song The perfect song
5.
My quarter bear’s seldom left at home And we talk on the phone Me and my quarter bear My quarter bear has mind of its own You know what they say The ones who listen understand And my quarter bear does And my quarter bear I do love People say quarter bear’s “ugly, can’t you see?” She’s still beautiful to me She’s my quarter bear People say quarter bear’s “really nothing fancy” But she makes me happy She makes me feel six feet tall My whimper’s become a caterwaul After all My quarter bear’s seldom left at home Good luck trying to tear me off the phone When I’m on it With my Quarter bear
6.
New King 01:07
Thank god we have a new king Thank god we have a new king Thank god we have a new king La-la-la-la-la….
7.
Blake and Lanny Present the best shows of the week Blake and lanny Tell you who you ought to see Blake likes new jack swing Lanny likes trendy thing You get them together, yeah And you’ve got everything Turn off the tv And go support the scene With Blake and lanny The best shows of the week
8.
A sad bastard sits alone, scrolling through his menchies Occupying the plane known as white male mediocrity Table for one at the Taco Bell on Wilshire Wishing to god I could put all these pennies in a tip jar I’ve had it up to here so I’m saying fuck the fans (what fans? What fans?) I just got this email from my publicist I can barely understand (we stan, we stan) All my friends tell me they’re migrating to Venmo “It’s the next Facebook,” they say, “or at least the next ello” Another year attached to the capitalist human centipede When live shows come back you can catch me standing in the green room, awkwardly I’ve had it up to here so I’m saying fuck the fans (what fans? What fans?) I just got an email from my publicist I can barely understand (we stan, we stan) Picture perfect scenery milk duds make up the gaps in your teeth The air in the trees is dollar store fabreeze Nothing, nothing means nothing to me I’ve had it up to here so I’m saying fuck the fans I just got an email from my manager I can’t quite understand Picture perfect scenery milk duds make up the gaps in your teeth
9.
You said you wanted somebody normal But you know, you know I’m better than that You know, you know I’m better than that I was the only one who ever loved you But you think you can do better than that You think you can do better than that You came and went you conquered then you quit You didn’t know what you were up against And now at last your cradle’s warm and safe Until the boughs can’t stand the wait You know I’m better than that You know I’m better than that
10.
X-Ray Vision 02:44
She leaves in the evening And blows him a kiss That rips right through his sails and Leaves him deserted He dipped his toes in the water But he got cold feet Out of step with the tenor He can’t keep a beat And now Everyone knows the truth He’s got x ray vision too He’s got x ray vision too He’s got x ray vision too And now Everybody knows He can see right through her clothes He’s got x ray vision too He’s got x ray vision too
11.
[instrumental]
12.
Sugar and cream make a pretty good team And they taste like a dream to me Sugar and cream with berries or coffee And everything else in between And sometimes When my heart grows lonely and exhausted I stimulate and sauce it Sugar and cream as silly as it seems My lust for this stuff’s a disease Sugar and cream, they’re like Mac n cheese Or Bert and Ernie, Woodstock and snoopy And sometimes When I need to get a lick in I sugarcoat the medicine Cups of white a sugar and a big-ass carton of cream These are a few of my favorite devices A substitute rarely if ever suffices For me
13.
My blood is full with the woe of the world All an arch to heart of a girl I am what you make of me Generous or in it for celebrity, oh A magnanimous bro To the blood donor in me The blood donor in me Blood donor in me My blood is full with the woe of the world All an arch to the heart of a girl I am what you want from me Even paranoids have enemies, whoa A calamitous blow To the blood donor in me The blood donor in me Blood donor in me
14.
My heart’s a garden overgrowin' Full of thorns without a rose And you still think I’m Better than nothing Out-of-print, my pages torn An insult to the human form But still you’ll find I’m better than nothing Better than nothing Better you hear it from the horse’s mouth That’ll chew you up and spit you out I’m not the best you’ve ever had But at least it’s not all bad Yeah you can count on me crawling back To whoever books this circus act But I’ll prove in time I’m better than Still you’ll find I’m better than nothing Better than nothing
15.
I would dance with you If I knew how to It’s not that I don’t want to baby I hope you know that I do It’s just that I can’t tell the 2 step from a pebble in my shoe I would dance with you If I knew how to It’s not that I don’t like you baby Honest, I promise I do It’s just that I can’t tell the rumba from the robot vacuum La-la-la…
16.
Ocean’s crazy food factory The position seeing father Crates on pets and pig pet line The long good morning, big goodnight Crazy akbar in brick’s house In the sky, morning house Ocean’s crazy food factory Crates on pets and pig pet line The famous rat mitali Straight daughter of the velvet scholars line
17.
Polaroids on pallid walls Keepsakes on the shelf I can hear his voice from down the hall Cause he can’t help but yell There’s a new scent in the air That I don’t quite understand If I could roll my eyes I would Right out of my head My master’s voice Never seemed so clear My master’s voice Never seemed so pure My master’s voice Aw-woooo My master’s voice Never seemed so clear
18.
My Parrot 04:37
My parrot tells them Things I swear I’ve said My parrot’s wisdom Is just something that it read My parrot treats its friends Like a focus group A scared little kid In a grownup suit If it weren’t for me my parrot would still be mute My parrot loves the Sound of its own voice My parrot’s content As long as it’s making noise When it starts up It can’t be stopped Like a pull string doll With its wires crossed It’s so precious how it think it calls the shots Without that routine you stole You’d be a sitting duck I taught you everything I know Except how to shut up It’s such a strange sensation Talking to a real imitation My parrot has a Mouth that’s bigger than its brain My parrot swears that We have the same name And now my parrot Has the whole planet convinced Sometimes even I Can’t tell the difference Between me and the monster I created My parrot My parrot
19.
I command a flying wing And boy are my men fine I’ll return with medals, for sure And make the girl I pine for mine Wing commander Wing commander Wing commander I command a flying wing And man, my boys are fine i’ll return decorated and respected By the girl who I make smile Wing commander Wing commander Wing commander Oh to fly all day Is to escape The corrosive sweat that lines life’s head With which I command This fleet of mine It soars, it flies Wing commander Wing commander Wing commander
20.
Camelot 02:06
she plays in the best band in the city she hates garage rock as much as me camelot camelot you say you harmonize to all my songs fifty million can’t be wrong this will be the year we make it all disappear What does it mean to make it in this day and age? Your cover letter may as well just be a works cited page you hope your big words and pretty chords will push you through But it’s nothing that they want, and it’s nothing they pretend to camelot camelot you say you harmonize to all my songs fifty million can’t be wrong this will be the year we make it all disappear Maybe if we played more pentatonic scales Maybe if our songs weren’t so detailed camelot camelot camelot camelot
21.
Caleb 01:25
Caleb If you’re out there somewhere I’m sorry For ruining your 9th birthday party Oh, Caleb I’m sorry Caleb Don’t mind me reminiscing But on the off chance that you’re listening I’m begging For forgiveness I was such an awful kid And I’m not much better at 26 But there’s something new in my head Maybe I grew a conscience It took awhile but now I feel bad Which means I’m not a psychopath But I was still a dickhead, at best I confess Caleb If you’re out there something I’m sorry For ruining your 9th birthday party Oh, Caleb I’m sorry
22.
Secrets on our lips Covering our footprints Glued to the pavement And stuck in her canvas Can I come over now? Can I stay the night? Can I hold you now? Is that alright? Is that alright?
23.
You earned it You earned it You earned that reward That reward called Reese’s You earned it
24.
Armpit 02:20
We walked awhile Trading smiles She can’t find out How I feel about her now I couldn’t think Of anything to say All these big words Just get in the way She said she grew up in some armpit, yeah She said she grew up in some armpit, yeah, yeah She said she grew up in some armpit So I said I’d take her out again We walked awhile Through the rain Afraid of feeling Everything We got drunk On rolling rock I said “No” “It’s against the law” She said she grew up in some armpit, yeah She said she grew up in some armpit, yeah, yeah She said she grew up in some armpit So I said I’d take her out again I couldn’t think Of what to do So I said, “I love you”
25.
If it’s a mad man’s world, then explain my position Luggage in transit, stranded on your island I never want to see those nipples again There’s no contact Wet t-shirt contest Whoa-oh!
26.
Maya Maya I’m crazy for this one baby Maya Maya I’m crazy for this one baby I’m crazy for this one baby Can’t talk about how I feel inside Without alienating everyone in my life I’m crazy for this one baby Maya Maya I’m crazy for this one baby Maya Maya I’m crazy for this one baby I’m crazy for this one baby
27.
Young canary flies and tells me things that I’ve learned well Through sun and lemon skies canary’s wings leave pleasant smell Though canary’s found a new home and new Arms to run to but I’m still that someone Who held canary in his arms And time we spent was fun My canary, vanilla cherry, she was sure to run Young canary so frivolous and carefree The forests in our hearts aflame Until canary drove her car over heart That’s 1000 pieces in my driveway Canary will cry no tears for me She’ll run away I can’t believe that Canary doesn’t care about me Together no more fun I trusted her I humored with laughter I stupidly assumed she was the one And even though she quit on me You can’t blame a bird for things like these She needs to look around some more But one day she’ll fly back through that door Canary pushed me out of the nest Together no more fun I spread my wings but fell to my death She was sure to run She was sure to run
28.
I see her pretty face pass by And I’m wondering oh, why Can’t I find a girl like Andy?

about

Dilettante (n.): a person with an amateur interest in the arts;
an album of postcard-length power pop songs. See also: Mo Troper IV.

Shortly after their “bigger than Jesus” remarks rocked the United States, The Beatles released Revolver. They never toured again after that, maintaining a credibility and untouchability that gets reissued and remastered every three years. Mo Troper, after releasing his full-length cover of Revolver, announced and abruptly cancelled a tour because something much bigger than Jesus was rocking the planet. You’d hope it was Mo himself. It wasn’t, but Mo’s rocking, anyway.

Dilettante—also known as Mo Troper IV—combines decades of power-pop worship, scholarship, and penmanship into a 28-track collection of sprints. The playlist-as-album pundits might call it a data dump, but Mo brands it as a relaxed way to finish song sketches in unprecedented times. IV is a work that some of his friends call a musical, but this claim remains unverified. If there’s anybody aching to spin up a limiter-drenched production centered around scrolling a cluttered inbox for serotonin, prototype theme songs for public access shows plugged into the scene, and gasp-long dips into math rock, 1990s video game cheese, and medieval revelry, get in touch. (You might have to cut Mo’s rejected jingle for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, even though the stage needs to hear it.)

For those less dramatically inclined, there’s plenty here to pick up the slack. Mo gushes about “The Perfect Song” with syrupy, undeniably guitar pop that’s a remarkable stand-in for the gold he describes. False showtune “Sugar and Cream” goes medium about the wizardry found in a cup of coffee. Clipped moments like the sub-minute love song “Skyscraper Sized Bong” are as ephemeral as they are effective, shoving callouts to Big Star and Teenage Fanclub into pocket- sized arrangements.

“I think that's the thing about this album - I don't even really care about touring or making vinyl anymore, I'm generally pretty sick of the PR rigmarole, I just want to release as much stuff as I can before I'm dead,” Troper explains. Call it information overload or a heaping of odds and ends, but Dilettante finds Mo Troper at his most sincere, present, and challenged. It doesn’t take fifty million screaming fans to prove him right.

-James Cassar

credits

released October 15, 2021

Everything you hear on 'Dilettante' was performed by Mo Troper*

*Maya Stoner sang backup vocals on "All My Friends Are Venmo"

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Mo Troper Portland, Oregon

"the conker's bad fur day of power pop"

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